2016 – I won’t necessarily miss ya….

Well 2016, we certainly had our ups and downs…..  what a year it’s been!  My family and I have definitely been on quite the roller coaster this year.  From a major surgery, to loss of a loved one, to job changes…. this has been a year full of stress and often doubt.  Faith was often tested and hope was sometimes dim.  But we made it.  We are here now, getting ready to ring in the New Year… and I am so thankful for this past year.  Despite all of the struggles it has brought me much closer to many people in my life.  I have also given myself the ok to eliminate negativity by not surrounding myself with people who suck the life outta me.  It’s true… I am a serious people pleaser.  So it was difficult for me to be ok with not giving people my time.

I spent a great deal of this past year nursing a bad hip and sharing my experience with many of you.  I hadn’t been able to workout like I wanted and my leg muscles began to atrophy in my left leg – all very frustrating and depressing for someone like me.  My Beachbody business suffered as a result of my frustrations with my hip – and I allowed myself to become very negative and down.  I spent alot of time gimping and limping and not being able to do the things that I loved to do.  It taught me alot about how quickly health can change for any one of us.  It also taught me alot about myself as far as control goes – I really like to be in control of all things in my life.  This experience made me realize how little control I have over much of my life.  It also made me thankful that God continues to take care of me by putting people in my life to help me.  I gave it all to God, and honestly things changed when I did.  Relationships are hard, right?  Marriage is also hard sometimes.  Man alive did my guy step up when I needed him the most.  There were days I was so very vulnerable (something else I’m not a big fan of) and he never once made me feel as if I wasn’t strong and capable.  He was the last person I saw before they took me in for surgery, and his eyes were filled with much love.  He has a comfort about him that makes me feel like I can do most anything.  For over 4 weeks he helped bathe me, shave my legs, carry every one of my bags to and from, shuffle me to doctor’s appointments, take care of the kids, and tried to keep my spirits up the entire time.  I am a very strong woman, but I am even stronger with Charlie by my side.  I thank God for bringing him into my life “again” and for keeping him here this time.  So even though this past year has been really challenging for our family, I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone other than my guy.

Our family also had some loss this past year – my Gram passed away in March and it was a tough time for our whole family.  She suffered from Alzheimer’s and declined very quickly towards the last couple months… but the years leading up to her passing was a real strain on many of my extended family members.  I’ve got an awesome Mom, there’s no doubt in my mind that she is one of the strongest women I will ever know.  I spent much time with her and shared in her pain.  Tough stuff after losing my Pap just one year prior.  Not an easy year at all losing Gram, and also a year of many firsts without Pap.

Despite many hard days and many tough times I give thanks to God for all of the blessings He gave.  I know I had all I needed.  I know I had more than what I deserved.  I learned to find joy in small successes.  I made some new friends.  I moved away from negativity.  I became closer to many family members.  I believed in myself.  I was more confident.  I became a business owner.  I overcame past doubts about myself.

So now that I am staring 2017 in the face it’s time to get focused.   I want this to be MY year.  I am making a COMEBACK.  I am allowing God to use me in ways I never understood.  I am using His strength to hold me up on days I feel like I’m falling.  I have more faith.  I am challenging myself to grow more in God and with those around me.  I am hopeful.  I choose to find joy when it’d be much easier to feel loss of hope.  This year I WILL believe in ME.  I will move forward and will crush my goals.  I am dedicating this year to myself.  It’s not selfish, it is necessary.  That doesn’t mean that I will not serve others.  That doesn’t mean that I am not going to take care of all of my responsibilities as a Mama and as a wife… it simply means that I am pouring into myself before I pour into others.  This is a year of growth for me.  This is a year of change for me.  This is a year of many, many goals – spiritual, character, and physical.  I have many goals, and I am about to crush them this year.  I hope you are on board…. I’m making this my year, I said it, watch it happen.

My intentions are good.  My intentions are written down.  My intentions will become my reality.  I am hopeful you have done the same thing – write down what you’d like to be remembered by this year.  Write down what your goals are and have a clear action plan as to how you will reach them.  A goal without a plan is just a dream…. and anyone can dream – not everyone can goal crush.

I am wishing you a Happy New Year – I hope that all of you are making this year great for yourselves!